Foolish Expectations

I'm a finicky person. I contradict myself in multiple ways. Let me explain. 

I am a  really reclusive person. I hate letting people too far in, and I hate having to explain things that I feel because I think that if I do, then the true me won't be liked. But I love someone who will pursue me. I love when someone wants to get to know me.

 I want nothing more in life then to be looked at by someone who says, 'wow, I want to know more.' It doesn't have to be romantically. I want someone to want me in their life. I want them to see me and think ' I won't let her get away. I won't stop until I know more.' and I want to deeply know I matter to someone, without a doubt. 

 I want someone else to take the first step. It would be nice if they followed my script that I'm sure to have already written and read in my head 100000 times, but I want them to start it. I don't want to feel like I'm pushing myself on them. I want to know that they like me enough to pursue the first step in me. 

I want someone to tell me their feelings for me, without me having to tell them. Someone who can look at me and see that I need to hear that I have value, and someone accepts me for me. 

I know this is completely absurd, because of the fact that I am me, and for some reason, this just doesn't happen with me. But it's nice to sit and dream of a day where I can have a close enough relationship with someone that they will want to pursue me...I pursue people all the time. I look into the deeper picture with them, and I look and try to find things to love about them. But once I get attached, I realize that they probably won't do or feel the same thing, and I'll end up being hurt out of foolish expectations. It would be nice for once to feel like they wanted me just as much as I want them..