Through starting Beautifully Made, I have been opened up to so much more. Some has been good, and some has been bad. There have been things that I have never even thought about that I have had to learn to deal with.
One thing that we have come across is the prevalence of teen suicide. The rate of teen suicide is alarming. There are teens who hide their pain and their problems all the way until the day they snap. We have seen this more and more through what we are doing. We have learned about more of the causes that sometimes people don't see.
We want to extend our hand to all of those who have been effected by this. But we have a challenge for you as well - watch what you say. Be careful of what you tell people, how you say it and what you do to them. You never know if you're their breaking point. I'd hate to think that I could be the reason someone didn't want to live anymore. I can't even imagine.
I hope that you take these words into consideration the next time you speak with someone. Make sure your words are pleasant and won't cause anyone harm.
xoxoxo
Friday, April 5, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
A day like today
Sometimes, I wonder where I would be if I hadn't been given a second chance. I wan't to tell you a part of my story that isn't easy. But it's real.
When I was young, I went through period of time where I felt alone. I didn't have anyone, and I barricaded my heart, and turned out the light. I ran out of things to tell myself, to try and cope with a wound so big, I never thought it would heal. I was silent. I stayed silent for years. I let people go. I ruined relationships, and gave up on the wrong things. On a day like to day, I think back to then. I think back to when I would have rather caved in then faced the days again. I think to a day where I fought so hard to seclude myself from my struggles, I ended up secluding myself from the outstretched arms willing to help me.
On a day like to day, I relive every single moment from the time my world fell apart. I relive the anguish, and the heartbreak. On a day like today, I allow myself to grieve for the time I lost myself. I lost who I was, what I stood for, who I loved, and everything I had wanted. I allow myself to be angry, sad, joyful, and content. But I always remember one thing; I was given a second chance.
On a day like today, I have to remind myself exactly how good I had it. I have to allow myself to be able to enjoy every moment I have now, so I have to remove myself from the past. On a day like today, I look around me and see all the new beginnings, and all the new changes. I see a brighter future, and a stronger me.
On a day like today I stop and think, I could have ended it all before I got to a day like today.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Our Schedule
So, as you guys know, we recently filmed a movie. We flew to Tulsa to take part in the CIY Kingdom worker movie. Ever since then, we have been really, really busy. We have been so excited for our upcoming projects, and we want to be able to do as much as we can.
Over the last few weeks we have realized how much we want to work for this. When we went to Tulsa, and got to talk with other students about what they did to stand up for what they believe in, and when they stood up for their faith, we were inspired to put more effort into what we do.
On March 14th, we took place in the #NOMOREday. It was a giant day were we all stood up to say no more to violence. We did this through social media, contacting governors, congress, and many other political leaders to ask for their support, and we even got the White house to sign an extension on the VAWA document. It was a big day for us, and all the other organizations that stood with us. We couldn't have had more people willing to help, and we were so blessed with the support we got.
On March 17th we hosted the #SilenceEndsHere campaign on twitter to help spread awareness for women who are pushed into silence all around the world. We focused on the women who are in human trafficking, who are threatened, and who are scared into silence. It was a huge success, and we even had participation from the Verizon Foundation. That was a big hit for us!
On March 20th we launched the Gold Canyon Candle fundraiser, and it is a big hit! We will be selling the candles for the next 2 weeks, so make sure that you get them fast! We are using this to help with a violence awareness conference we will be holding. All the money will be used to spread awareness. (To order, email beautifullymade@violencenomore.com) We hope that this is a success!
We both have been so blessed by you guys, and by every one who has stood by our side. We hope that you all know how much you mean to Beautifully Made
xoxoxo
Over the last few weeks we have realized how much we want to work for this. When we went to Tulsa, and got to talk with other students about what they did to stand up for what they believe in, and when they stood up for their faith, we were inspired to put more effort into what we do.
On March 14th, we took place in the #NOMOREday. It was a giant day were we all stood up to say no more to violence. We did this through social media, contacting governors, congress, and many other political leaders to ask for their support, and we even got the White house to sign an extension on the VAWA document. It was a big day for us, and all the other organizations that stood with us. We couldn't have had more people willing to help, and we were so blessed with the support we got.
On March 17th we hosted the #SilenceEndsHere campaign on twitter to help spread awareness for women who are pushed into silence all around the world. We focused on the women who are in human trafficking, who are threatened, and who are scared into silence. It was a huge success, and we even had participation from the Verizon Foundation. That was a big hit for us!
On March 20th we launched the Gold Canyon Candle fundraiser, and it is a big hit! We will be selling the candles for the next 2 weeks, so make sure that you get them fast! We are using this to help with a violence awareness conference we will be holding. All the money will be used to spread awareness. (To order, email beautifullymade@violencenomore.com) We hope that this is a success!
We both have been so blessed by you guys, and by every one who has stood by our side. We hope that you all know how much you mean to Beautifully Made
xoxoxo
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Promise
I want to promise you something.
I can't promise that life will always be easy or pleasant, I can't promise that you will always have the most amazing memories. You will have really rough patches. You will loose faith, and you will get mad at the world. You will fight God, and you will walk away. I can't promise that you won't feel alone, and I can't promise that you will feel alone. I can't promise that you'll always be happy, and I can't promise you'll always be sad. There will be people that leave. I can't promise any one will stay. But that doesn't mean every one will leave either. You may not ever like the way you look, and you may not ever be flawless like the girl on the cover of Vogue. But you are beautiful. And the definition of beautiful doesn't include the word flawless.
I can only promise this. As long as there is a beat in your heart, and air in your lungs, you have a purpose. You have a God-given power within you that will allow you to over come the impossible. You are worth something. As long as there is pain, there is happiness. You will find someone who loves a beautiful heart not just a beautiful body. Patience will come to you, and you will find joy. You may not have the most money, or the best things, but you have enough to pull you through. No matter how little you have, there is always going to be someone with less then you. No matter how much you have, you will never buy your way to happiness. The key to success is selflessness. You won't be measured buy how nice of a car you had, or how many bedrooms your house had. You will be measured by the number of people you helped, and the amount of love you gave. Wisdom comes through experience, and you will use that to help people who are in your shoes. I can promise that you will always have a home, and your home will be where YOU make it. God will be there, waiting, even if you never come back. I can promise that you are worth something.
I can't promise that life will always be easy or pleasant, I can't promise that you will always have the most amazing memories. You will have really rough patches. You will loose faith, and you will get mad at the world. You will fight God, and you will walk away. I can't promise that you won't feel alone, and I can't promise that you will feel alone. I can't promise that you'll always be happy, and I can't promise you'll always be sad. There will be people that leave. I can't promise any one will stay. But that doesn't mean every one will leave either. You may not ever like the way you look, and you may not ever be flawless like the girl on the cover of Vogue. But you are beautiful. And the definition of beautiful doesn't include the word flawless.
I can only promise this. As long as there is a beat in your heart, and air in your lungs, you have a purpose. You have a God-given power within you that will allow you to over come the impossible. You are worth something. As long as there is pain, there is happiness. You will find someone who loves a beautiful heart not just a beautiful body. Patience will come to you, and you will find joy. You may not have the most money, or the best things, but you have enough to pull you through. No matter how little you have, there is always going to be someone with less then you. No matter how much you have, you will never buy your way to happiness. The key to success is selflessness. You won't be measured buy how nice of a car you had, or how many bedrooms your house had. You will be measured by the number of people you helped, and the amount of love you gave. Wisdom comes through experience, and you will use that to help people who are in your shoes. I can promise that you will always have a home, and your home will be where YOU make it. God will be there, waiting, even if you never come back. I can promise that you are worth something.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Seasons
You know that feeling when you let your guard down, but the moment you do, someone takes advantage? You know that feeling where everyday you wake up and see the person that you so desperately love, and they can't even look you in the eye? This doesn't have to be a romance type of love. This could be a dear friend, a close relative. Anyone you can feel rejection from. I'm going through that right now. It's not the first time. I have this problem of getting my heart attached to someone. I often choose the wrong people, at the wrong time. I have this problem of taking kindness for caring. There have been a handfull distinct people in my life that I have loved unconditionally, and in the end got hurt. I need to talk about them.
1. My mentor.
Her name was Tiffany. She was the woman I could go to for anything. She was the one that if I ever got into trouble, or ever needed to confess, I could go to her, and trust that I would get a hug, a prayer, and a discipline. I don't know what draws me to certain people. I don't know if it is their personality or what. But She was one of them. I was drawn to the support she could give me during a very damning time in my life. Tiffany was one of those people who no matter what you did, she could never make you feel guilty. I met her one year at my school, she was one of the women who came to talk to students, and we worked together for a few years. I can't tell you how hard it was for me to realize that she had left me too. When people that mean so much to you leave, it causes you to question yourself even more. This happened to me. I stood about a year without her before I let myself confess that I was hurt. It's a daily battle to allow myself to move on.
2. My coach
Her name was Kammy. She was my volleyball coach. She was different. Not loving, but harsh. When you needed someone, you could go to her though. She showed her soft side with me. But she went off the deep end. I miss her. She will always have an impact on my life, no matter what.
3. My friend.
Her name is Portia. She was my computer teacher. Her and I became friends around the time that I got diagnosed with cancer. She has been here for me through everything. This isn't a way I got hurt, but I don't see her a lot. We text and call, but we can't talk face to face very much. She means the world to me. But I know that there are just some people that you can't see a lot, but you have to remain friends to stay sane. That's the case with both of us. I know that this is something that she needs just as much as I do. Sometimes, even when you have someone who is there , it's hard to realize it.
4. My coworker.
Her name is Penelope. She doesn't have a clue. She doesn't know anything about me either. We simply, work together. That's all. This is a person who I am afraid to get too attached to. I feel myself, and I tell myself to stop. But I don't know how.
Some of the people in our life come in and leave suddenly, some stay a while, and some, they never really were there. A lot of my relationships end in a bad way. I think it may be simply because I am incapable of holding a normal relationship. It's hard for me to completely understand why we are given people who will eventually hurt us. But no matter the case, we have to trust that there are people who will change our lives forever. God will use these people for greatness in our lives. I hope that you can see that you're not the only one who feels like they have failed in relationships. I hope that you see that you're not alone, and someone will always understand.
xoxox
1. My mentor.
Her name was Tiffany. She was the woman I could go to for anything. She was the one that if I ever got into trouble, or ever needed to confess, I could go to her, and trust that I would get a hug, a prayer, and a discipline. I don't know what draws me to certain people. I don't know if it is their personality or what. But She was one of them. I was drawn to the support she could give me during a very damning time in my life. Tiffany was one of those people who no matter what you did, she could never make you feel guilty. I met her one year at my school, she was one of the women who came to talk to students, and we worked together for a few years. I can't tell you how hard it was for me to realize that she had left me too. When people that mean so much to you leave, it causes you to question yourself even more. This happened to me. I stood about a year without her before I let myself confess that I was hurt. It's a daily battle to allow myself to move on.
2. My coach
Her name was Kammy. She was my volleyball coach. She was different. Not loving, but harsh. When you needed someone, you could go to her though. She showed her soft side with me. But she went off the deep end. I miss her. She will always have an impact on my life, no matter what.
3. My friend.
Her name is Portia. She was my computer teacher. Her and I became friends around the time that I got diagnosed with cancer. She has been here for me through everything. This isn't a way I got hurt, but I don't see her a lot. We text and call, but we can't talk face to face very much. She means the world to me. But I know that there are just some people that you can't see a lot, but you have to remain friends to stay sane. That's the case with both of us. I know that this is something that she needs just as much as I do. Sometimes, even when you have someone who is there , it's hard to realize it.
4. My coworker.
Her name is Penelope. She doesn't have a clue. She doesn't know anything about me either. We simply, work together. That's all. This is a person who I am afraid to get too attached to. I feel myself, and I tell myself to stop. But I don't know how.
Some of the people in our life come in and leave suddenly, some stay a while, and some, they never really were there. A lot of my relationships end in a bad way. I think it may be simply because I am incapable of holding a normal relationship. It's hard for me to completely understand why we are given people who will eventually hurt us. But no matter the case, we have to trust that there are people who will change our lives forever. God will use these people for greatness in our lives. I hope that you can see that you're not the only one who feels like they have failed in relationships. I hope that you see that you're not alone, and someone will always understand.
xoxox
Friday, February 15, 2013
Self Help
Have you ever thought about yourself, and really evaluated the way that you work, think, and act? Have you stopped and thought to yourself, how am I doing? What do I need to do for myself? How can I learn more about myself?
I've done this a few times the past few weeks. I've stopped and thought about what I am doing to keep myself healthy while I try to keep others healthy. I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I love everything I do, I'm so blessed by people, and I look forward to the future that Beautifully Made has for me. But that doesn't mean that I'm perfect and that doesn't mean that I don't have bad days. With Beautifully Made, Kaylie and I had a decision to make. We could either be fake and pretend that we had no problems, had nothing to work past. Or we could tell the truth. Talk about what we had experienced, and what we felt. We decided to take that path. So here it goes.
I get attached too easy. I love people who I know may never love me. My heart doesn't know how to put up walls. I get hurt too much. Everyone I have ever loved has left me. People don't like to be with me. And sometimes.. just sometimes, I fall for the same old tricks. I never realize how much I have given to someone, until I loose them. I have lost parts of my heart that I will never get back. I have a loving mom that will always be the strongest woman in my life, but there are wounds that even our most loved people give us. I want someone who I can be close to, tell anything to, and know that I don't have to worry about them leaving. I know my mom won't leave, but there are always things you can never tell your parents. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever hold a normal relationship. I always seem to mess it up. I blame myself for other's actions. I let my past determine my future. I wish someone would ask me what's really wrong so I could get it off my chest. But They don't...
I can't tell you how many things I have burned into my memory of things that were said or done. A lot of times, this is what runs through our heads. Especially during hard times as it's been for me these past few weeks. It has been one emotional roller coaster after another. It is easy to let yourself get down during these hard times. I know, I have fallen guilty of that.
Here are 6 tips you can use to take care of yourself in difficult times
1. Get plenty of sleep.
- It's been proven that the earlier you go to sleep, and the earlier you wake up, the better your mood is throughout the day. If you sleep the typical hours of 9:30 to 6:30-7, you can get 8-8 1/2 hours of sleep to help rejuvenate yourself.
2. Drink water
- Water is something that you think you will always remember. But when you are stressed, some of the most important things that you think you won't forget, you end up not realizing you need it until it's too late.
3. Eat well.
- Sometimes all you need to make sure that you can keep your health up, and keep your body functioning is healthy eating. It doesn't take much to cook healthy. Just make sure that you are getting enough to eat, and keeping your diet regular. You don't want to forget to eat, and end up passing out.
4. Do what YOU like
- I like to write and draw. I sing and I listen to music. I use these things to get my energy out, and my attention off of things. It is therapeutic to me. Find something that is soothing and relaxing to you, and don't be afraid to do it. It will help refresh you in the middle of the day, and it will help you gain more knowledge about what you like and what your interests are.
5. Exercise
- Walk, run, jog, swim, lift weights. Anything that will help you feel better, and helps you get energy and stress out. I jog when I am angry or stressed, and it helps me get all of my emotions out, and feel better. I don't have to worry about snapping, because all of that energy that I would be using to snap, is being pushed into my work out.
6. Talk
- Let people in. Even if you get asked the same questions, or have to give the same answers. When people ask what's wrong, and volunteer their time to listen never let that offer go. They are always willing to help, and you need it. You shouldn't feel bad about it either. You deserve it.
I hope that you know how much you all mean to Beautifully Made. I can't express how much love and support we have gotten, and I consider each and every one of you friends. Friends through cause.
Much Love
xoxo
I've done this a few times the past few weeks. I've stopped and thought about what I am doing to keep myself healthy while I try to keep others healthy. I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I love everything I do, I'm so blessed by people, and I look forward to the future that Beautifully Made has for me. But that doesn't mean that I'm perfect and that doesn't mean that I don't have bad days. With Beautifully Made, Kaylie and I had a decision to make. We could either be fake and pretend that we had no problems, had nothing to work past. Or we could tell the truth. Talk about what we had experienced, and what we felt. We decided to take that path. So here it goes.
I get attached too easy. I love people who I know may never love me. My heart doesn't know how to put up walls. I get hurt too much. Everyone I have ever loved has left me. People don't like to be with me. And sometimes.. just sometimes, I fall for the same old tricks. I never realize how much I have given to someone, until I loose them. I have lost parts of my heart that I will never get back. I have a loving mom that will always be the strongest woman in my life, but there are wounds that even our most loved people give us. I want someone who I can be close to, tell anything to, and know that I don't have to worry about them leaving. I know my mom won't leave, but there are always things you can never tell your parents. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever hold a normal relationship. I always seem to mess it up. I blame myself for other's actions. I let my past determine my future. I wish someone would ask me what's really wrong so I could get it off my chest. But They don't...
I can't tell you how many things I have burned into my memory of things that were said or done. A lot of times, this is what runs through our heads. Especially during hard times as it's been for me these past few weeks. It has been one emotional roller coaster after another. It is easy to let yourself get down during these hard times. I know, I have fallen guilty of that.
Here are 6 tips you can use to take care of yourself in difficult times
1. Get plenty of sleep.
- It's been proven that the earlier you go to sleep, and the earlier you wake up, the better your mood is throughout the day. If you sleep the typical hours of 9:30 to 6:30-7, you can get 8-8 1/2 hours of sleep to help rejuvenate yourself.
2. Drink water
- Water is something that you think you will always remember. But when you are stressed, some of the most important things that you think you won't forget, you end up not realizing you need it until it's too late.
3. Eat well.
- Sometimes all you need to make sure that you can keep your health up, and keep your body functioning is healthy eating. It doesn't take much to cook healthy. Just make sure that you are getting enough to eat, and keeping your diet regular. You don't want to forget to eat, and end up passing out.
4. Do what YOU like
- I like to write and draw. I sing and I listen to music. I use these things to get my energy out, and my attention off of things. It is therapeutic to me. Find something that is soothing and relaxing to you, and don't be afraid to do it. It will help refresh you in the middle of the day, and it will help you gain more knowledge about what you like and what your interests are.
5. Exercise
- Walk, run, jog, swim, lift weights. Anything that will help you feel better, and helps you get energy and stress out. I jog when I am angry or stressed, and it helps me get all of my emotions out, and feel better. I don't have to worry about snapping, because all of that energy that I would be using to snap, is being pushed into my work out.
6. Talk
- Let people in. Even if you get asked the same questions, or have to give the same answers. When people ask what's wrong, and volunteer their time to listen never let that offer go. They are always willing to help, and you need it. You shouldn't feel bad about it either. You deserve it.
I hope that you know how much you all mean to Beautifully Made. I can't express how much love and support we have gotten, and I consider each and every one of you friends. Friends through cause.
Much Love
xoxo
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Heartsick Valentines
Today is valentines day. I got two stuffed monkeys from my mom, some chocolates, and a bouquet of flowers. It made me feel so special. My coworkers were all in a good mood, and we had fun working. I was lucky. But, all day long, there was this string tugging at my heart. As the day progressed, it tugged harder and harder.
It all started with a picture posted on instagram. My friend's father had put 18 red roses in her car on the dash board, and a box of chocolates, and then given her a bracelet that said 'daughter' that was in the shape of half of a heart, and he had one that said 'father'. His was the other half of the heart. This was a really sweet gesture. I envied that. My gift from my father was a two sentenced email. And then we got into a fight.
If my dad can't love me, then how is a boyfriend going to? I am really analytical of myself. I blame myself. I can help other people, but can't seem to take my own advice. I get attached to people, but don't have expectations of them. When they mess up, that just validates my point. Today was one of those days where you just wanted to blink and it would be over.
I know you probably don't want to read my complaints. After all, I'm who you're supposed to come to when you need to talk. But sometimes you need to heal the healers. And my form of healing is through writing. So I wrote something.
Heartsick Valentines
It's a heartsick valentines.
The old man is sitting in the booth. Today is his first without her. The mom watching her children play, it's their first with him gone. The family across the street will burry their father tomorrow. The girl behind the counter wishes he'd make today different. The woman in the black misses the bouquet. The man in the hospital room sits next to her bed, stroking her hair.
It's a heartsick valentines.
He walks out, knowing this is the last time he'll see her. The teacher tries not to cry as her student's laugh with joy. The man wrapping the flowers for customers just placed the ones for his mom on her grave. The woman at the coffee shop waits for her phone to ring. Waking her from this nightmare. She hope's she wasn't wrong about him.
It's a heartsick valentines.
Why can't today be different? Why can't we have one more chance to show each other what we feel? Why can't we just have a second chance to pretend like we didn't mess all of this up? Today was supposed to be happy. People are suffering. How do you take a moment to remember your love when you're running out of time?
Why is it a heartsick valentines?
It all started with a picture posted on instagram. My friend's father had put 18 red roses in her car on the dash board, and a box of chocolates, and then given her a bracelet that said 'daughter' that was in the shape of half of a heart, and he had one that said 'father'. His was the other half of the heart. This was a really sweet gesture. I envied that. My gift from my father was a two sentenced email. And then we got into a fight.
If my dad can't love me, then how is a boyfriend going to? I am really analytical of myself. I blame myself. I can help other people, but can't seem to take my own advice. I get attached to people, but don't have expectations of them. When they mess up, that just validates my point. Today was one of those days where you just wanted to blink and it would be over.
I know you probably don't want to read my complaints. After all, I'm who you're supposed to come to when you need to talk. But sometimes you need to heal the healers. And my form of healing is through writing. So I wrote something.
Heartsick Valentines
It's a heartsick valentines.
The old man is sitting in the booth. Today is his first without her. The mom watching her children play, it's their first with him gone. The family across the street will burry their father tomorrow. The girl behind the counter wishes he'd make today different. The woman in the black misses the bouquet. The man in the hospital room sits next to her bed, stroking her hair.
It's a heartsick valentines.
He walks out, knowing this is the last time he'll see her. The teacher tries not to cry as her student's laugh with joy. The man wrapping the flowers for customers just placed the ones for his mom on her grave. The woman at the coffee shop waits for her phone to ring. Waking her from this nightmare. She hope's she wasn't wrong about him.
It's a heartsick valentines.
Why can't today be different? Why can't we have one more chance to show each other what we feel? Why can't we just have a second chance to pretend like we didn't mess all of this up? Today was supposed to be happy. People are suffering. How do you take a moment to remember your love when you're running out of time?
Why is it a heartsick valentines?
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